Monday, August 2, 2010


So this post was sparked by a friend of mine who decided to put me on blast for referring to her adorable little family as "perfect".

It makes me think...what makes a marriage or a family PERFECT..or at least appear to be. Well, my first response would be that there's no such thing. Just like we are all human, and cannot be perfect without the Savior who atoned for our sins that we might achieve perfection...I guess imperfect people couldnt possibly have a perfect marriage...or could they?

Now we're getting deep here. This questions begs an even broader one. Stay with me here mind tends to wander ALOT. The Savior was once referred to as the "Bridegroom" and the church the "bride", one without the other would have no purpose, right? So more literally...a bride and a groom, like Manase and I...should be the same right?

Anyway, we all know them. THE PERFECT FAMILY in church. While you're sitting in the back row in sacrament with candy, cheerios, baby spit up all making up the colors on your black blouse. Your hair hasn't been properly brushed for who knows how haven't worn makeup...well, since you had them...which by this time means you dont even know what the word makeup means anymore! You insist on wearing slippers because you REFUSE to break your ankle running after an overly rambunctious 2 year old (who seems to believe that his mission in life is to make yours a living hell) in 6 inch heels. Your baby wont seem to stop crying for anything and you swear it seems like they want to cry just because they KNOW they're not supposed to. Meanwhile your husband is dozing off, not even noticing your frustration. Just as you're questioning your sanity...wondering why did I get married and do this to myself? I used to be so cute and dolled up for walks "The Smiths" as we'll call them. Their four kids are perfectly groomed from their starched shirts and ties to the girls perfectly curled hair. The file in quietly, sit in the front row, and you never hear a peep from the kids, not even the 10 month old. Even he's folding his arms!! haha All the kids know their scriptures and can proudly recite all 13 articles of faith their mom made them memorize. Even the mom has perfect hair...often I find myself staring and wondering when does this lady find time to all this?? After sacrament you have to listen to her go on and on about what a perfect life they have. They're children never misbehave and her husband is Prince charming straight outta the fairytales. *gag*

Maybe I'm the only one who's dealt with a family like this...but it brings to mind something my dad always told me. "The only people who are normal, are the people you don't know" to which I could make my own change for the sake of relevancy that "The only people who are PERFECT are the people you don't know" or at least that you don't know well enough to know their imperfections. No one's perfect once you get to know them. We all have fights, and tantrums, and I'm sure that at one time or another we've all googled what it would take to get a divorce, whether serious or not. (or maybe thats just me haha)

I like to think that although our marriage may not be perfect...the sum of us is MUCH better than the parts. I am far from perfect...and my husband has his imperfections too...oh lets be honest...he's about as far from it as i am. hahaha But what I love about us is that together, we make up for what the other lacks. He fills in my blank spots and I fill in his. Sure, we fight..alot. but that just means we makeup just as much! And with every fight I learn something new about him and also about myself. We learn what makes the other angry or what makes them sad, so we can hopefully adjust to avoid that argument in the future. With every mistake, with every disagreement, we grow. we're like a jigsaw puzzle...apart we just look like jagged pieces of nothing...but TOGETHER...well, put together we could be a work of art...and a perfect one at that. So yes...I think we're perfect...even if it's just imperfectly perfect. We, together, make the perfect picture. And once you add our family, it just makes the picture that much more beautiful.

We're all working together, striving for perfection and eternity...not one of us could do it alone. And its PERFECT. So say what you will about us...okay we fight, I may not dress up like I used to, I've gained alot of weight, my babies are free spirits and don't listen to a word i say, my house is a mess, my husband doesn't buy me flowers, he ignores me alot...but in all our imperfections...we are a perfect family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. :)


Mary said...

aw! lolohea! i don't know, for some reason i'm crying reading this!! oh dear - it must be the pregnancy. lol ANYWAYS - AMEN AMEN AMEN to everything. i love that the only normal people are people we don't know! ha ha. and i TOTALLY agree with the "perfect" family idea and being TOGETHER to be PERFECT!! THANK YOU!! Thanks for posting such a wonderful post!!

Crystal said...

wow! well said. "the smiths!" hahaha! that's funny!! i love the quote from ur dad though... "the only normal people are the people we dont know." i really hope thats true because so far EVERYONE i know-EVERY COUPLE i know isn't perfect. there's always something that i either see or find out so that is very comforting!! nice, honest post!! good job!!

Kristi Amasio said...

Love this Hea. So true. Very good writing. You should be a writer!! :)

Manase said...

ahhh that is such bologne...i've gotten flowers before. haha I love you babe! and Mary and Crystal your husbands are AWESOME...just thought i'd throw that out there as well.

Line said...

Lol you are so cute Hea. Loved the post; so beautifully written. I've googled what it takes to get a divorce, not because I wanted to but because I was curious. Hahahaha(Rrrrriiiiight lol). Thanks for sharing!

The Guirola-Uyema's said...

so refreshing to see more REAL posts on blogger... i love that. thanks for sharing. as soon as i get time to, i will also post on reality like you and mary did. :)
good luck, manase! you guys really are awesome-and i'm sooo happy for you guys!