If you're in need of a laugh...

What the MIA??

Missing In Action...ha...its true! IM NOT DEAD! We're alive...in Oakland...and still trying to figure out how we feel about it...well, at least I am. I'm still trying to decide if I even want to bother going over the last several months. Lets just start with the big ones which I will write blog entries for later. For now, lets just cover the bullet versions! ha

*Training camp came and went. We attended our very first NFL game on August 28th against the San Francisco 49ers...we lost :( but it was fun to watch my love live his dream...even if it was on the wrong die of the ball and the wrong team..lol

*Manase made the Raiders practice squad. I was over the moon....so proud of him!

*My Leila bugg turned 1! and we had a big ol' birthday bash combined with her cousin Micah who turns one in October.

*After way too much time apart, the kids and I finally moved to Oakland to join Daddy...

And now here we are...living in a hotel room...in the middle of Oakland. A foreign city, where I know like 3 people...at least that I know well enough to call...and no friends. Thankfully I have my family, Manase's family is also up here...so I'm getting an opportunity to get to know them a little better. I do enjoy that we are together as a family for the 1st time since May. I also LOVE the city of San Francisco. Growing up Orange County, which is known as the suburbs of LA, I've never been this close to a real life city. SanFran is just a short drive over the bay bridge and I love going there, it makes me feel like I'm in a movie or something. lol I LOVE seeing the ocean everyday, I LOVE the early 20th century architecture that is EVERYWHERE. I never really appreciated the bay area for all the beauty there is to be seen up here.

I'm not going to even talk about all the things i MISS because that will just make me cry and get me all depressed. but those people know who they are. :)

I prefer pics over words...they do say a thousand words so here we go.

Leila Lata 'i Lomoloma Tonga turns 1

My babygirl is already a year old and I can't believe it!

*doesn't walk yet but she can stand on her own
*she has 4 teeth, two on top, two on bottom
*crawls like a pro...and is probably faster than Semisi runs
*weighs 25lbs...although she doesnt look it!
*is mommy's little independent baby. she does her own thing and doesnt want to be bothered by anyone especially her brother. She sleeps by herself and even puts herself to sleep.
*has an odd obsession with anything soft. she holds it up to her mouth and nose to where its barely touching and her mouth looks like its sucking on an invisible binkie..and she zones out...its the WEIRDEST thing to watch and i have no clue where she got it from! but she has to do it to fall asleep. lol

For her birthday we did a combined party with my nephew Micah who turns 1 in October. It was a prince/princess theme (of course) but it turned out way cuter than i even imagined! We made EVERYTHING for this party. From the personalized invitations, to the birthday banner, to the tissue ball decorations and Castle centerpieces. *even the CONFETTI!* It was definitely a labour of love and I haven't a clue how we're going to ever top this one! haha

did that just happen??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cOb52tJP78&feature=related

Raiders Family Day in Napa Valley

The Raiders had a "family day" on Sunday at their training camp in Napa so I figured it would be a great excuse for us to see Manase, especially since its been nearly a month since we've seen him. So we packed up the car on Friday and drove 7 hours up to Napa Valley.

It was such a beautiful day and we were so excited to see him in action. It was so nice to see him fulfilling his dream, I couldn't be more proud of everything he's done. The kids so ECSTATIC to see him. I think it's harder on them than anyone else. It always breaks my heart seeing Semisi break down every time he has to leave his Dad. He already recognizes that his Dad is gone a lot...so when we do see him, Semisi is so stuck to him because he's afraid of Manase leaving again. It's hard, but we know that these small sacrifices are necessary right now so our lives can be a little easier in the long run. Hopefully we'll be able to move up and join Manase in Oakland soon.

Anyway, it was a fun day! We watched practice and there was a BBQ for all the guests afterwards. His schedule was open for the rest of the night until bed check at 11 so we spent every possible second together.

The hardest part is over, as far as being apart. The Raiders first preseason game was last week against the Dallas Cowboys. Manase played a little bit in the 2nd quarter and the entire 3rd quarter. He had some really solid blocks and I was so excited to see him play in his first NFL game. It was a great game! The Raiders pulled out the win 17-9 which was exciting!

He plays in Chicago on Saturday, then they finally come home to Oakland to play the 49ers. We'll be there for sure to cheer him on in person. GO #41!

Perfect

So this post was sparked by a friend of mine who decided to put me on blast for referring to her adorable little family as "perfect".

It makes me think...what makes a marriage or a family PERFECT..or at least appear to be. Well, my first response would be that there's no such thing. Just like we are all human, and cannot be perfect without the Savior who atoned for our sins that we might achieve perfection...I guess imperfect people couldnt possibly have a perfect marriage...or could they?

Now we're getting deep here. This questions begs an even broader one. Stay with me here people...my mind tends to wander ALOT. The Savior was once referred to as the "Bridegroom" and the church the "bride", one without the other would have no purpose, right? So more literally...a bride and a groom, like Manase and I...should be the same right?

Anyway, we all know them. THE PERFECT FAMILY in church. While you're sitting in the back row in sacrament with candy, cheerios, baby spit up all making up the colors on your black blouse. Your hair hasn't been properly brushed for who knows how long...you haven't worn makeup...well, since you had them...which by this time means you dont even know what the word makeup means anymore! You insist on wearing slippers because you REFUSE to break your ankle running after an overly rambunctious 2 year old (who seems to believe that his mission in life is to make yours a living hell) in 6 inch heels. Your baby wont seem to stop crying for anything and you swear it seems like they want to cry just because they KNOW they're not supposed to. Meanwhile your husband is dozing off, not even noticing your frustration. Just as you're questioning your sanity...wondering why did I get married and do this to myself? I used to be so cute and dolled up for church...in walks "The Smiths" as we'll call them. Their four kids are perfectly groomed from their starched shirts and ties to the girls perfectly curled hair. The file in quietly, sit in the front row, and you never hear a peep from the kids, not even the 10 month old. Even he's folding his arms!! haha All the kids know their scriptures and can proudly recite all 13 articles of faith their mom made them memorize. Even the mom has perfect hair...often I find myself staring and wondering when does this lady find time to all this?? After sacrament you have to listen to her go on and on about what a perfect life they have. They're children never misbehave and her husband is Prince charming straight outta the fairytales. *gag*

Maybe I'm the only one who's dealt with a family like this...but it brings to mind something my dad always told me. "The only people who are normal, are the people you don't know" to which I could make my own change for the sake of relevancy that "The only people who are PERFECT are the people you don't know" or at least that you don't know well enough to know their imperfections. No one's perfect once you get to know them. We all have fights, and tantrums, and I'm sure that at one time or another we've all googled what it would take to get a divorce, whether serious or not. (or maybe thats just me haha)

I like to think that although our marriage may not be perfect...the sum of us is MUCH better than the parts. I am far from perfect...and my husband has his imperfections too...oh lets be honest...he's about as far from it as i am. hahaha But what I love about us is that together, we make up for what the other lacks. He fills in my blank spots and I fill in his. Sure, we fight..alot. but that just means we makeup just as much! And with every fight I learn something new about him and also about myself. We learn what makes the other angry or what makes them sad, so we can hopefully adjust to avoid that argument in the future. With every mistake, with every disagreement, we grow. we're like a jigsaw puzzle...apart we just look like jagged pieces of nothing...but TOGETHER...well, put together we could be a work of art...and a perfect one at that. So yes...I think we're perfect...even if it's just imperfectly perfect. We, together, make the perfect picture. And once you add our family, it just makes the picture that much more beautiful.

We're all working together, striving for perfection and eternity...not one of us could do it alone. And its PERFECT. So say what you will about us...okay we fight, I may not dress up like I used to, I've gained alot of weight, my babies are free spirits and don't listen to a word i say, my house is a mess, my husband doesn't buy me flowers, he ignores me alot...but in all our imperfections...we are a perfect family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

There goes my baby...

So it's been a long summer already for our family. Football season is right around the corner....and I feel like it never left! Although i am SOOOOOO grateful that my husband is signed with a team right now...(even though they have YET to give us our checks they owe us for well....all of summer) I MISS MY HUSBAND!! I know everyone is sick of hearing it..but I do. he didn't leave for the weekend...or even the week...well not even the month!! I wont be seeing him again until SEPTEMBER!! Yes, you read it right people...september. I will be a single mother of 2 babies for at least 6 weeks. Im considering getting some kind of medication to get me through it (everyone else is Utah apparently takes Prozac...why not me??) hahaha IM KIDDING...or am i?

So in the mean time, me and the babies are here in the OC staying with my parents until final cuts determine our fates for the next several months. I miss Utah...i miss my friends and my family. But moving is definitely a change..and a welcomed one at that. I AM excited that there's so much at our fingertips...but we're literally straddling the line here. I don't mean to sound negative...I'm just being honest. I've decided that I need to be more honest on this blog...I don't ever want to come across like I don't have any worries or concerns because I do! I'm a woman after all.

Here's a bombshell...I've done it before...I've wondered what it would be like if all this time alone led me into the arms of another. (Not considered...just wondered..there's a difference, look it up) I reminisced for a second of how fun it was to start a new relationship with someone. all the butterflies and the excitement of knowing nothing about this person and still being so obsessed with them...it brought a smile to my face. Then I imagined the consequences...my life without Manase. My kids without their dad. And the worst one, Manase with another woman! Kissing someone else and holding someone else the way he does me...and that stopped me in my tracks. It's like this country song I heard recently...

When I think about cheatin'
I just think about you leavin'
And how my world would fall to pieces
If I tossed your love away
Even when I'm tempted by some stranger
Oh there's never any danger
I just think about you leavin'
When I think about cheatin'

Ha! and It's so true! There's a whole bunch of songs that come to mind when I think about losing Manase(honestly sometimes I wish life were a musical so we could just sing all our emotions out hahaha) especially another called "The one who holds my heart" by Luther Vandross. In the chorus he states "I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart." I love it! Sometimes pop icons say what I fell better than I ever could.

So next time you fight with your spouse...and you swear you would be better off without him...seriously think about that. Think about life would be like without him...and I bet you'll be a little bit less angry. Or just be like me and think of how it would be if he was loving someone else...i bet it would make you appreciate him a little bit more. :) So do something nice for that man of yours once in a while...

In case you missed it...i REALLY miss my other half.